When it comes to sex, men need a re-orientation in the way they think about women’s sexual needs.
Sex experts think that a change in thinking may improve the typical man’s sex life.
So, they suggest answers to the sex mistakes that most men make.
So, here we go…
• Mistake: You make sex start in the bedroom. Sex therapist, Dr. Ian Kerner, notes that while men may develop erection at the sight of a woman’s naked body, arousal doesn’t happen so fast for women.
Suggestion: Pave the way during the day by hugging, kissing, and holding hands. Have some fun together, and show you appreciate her. Feeling safe and secure in the relationship is key for a woman to really let loose during sex, Kerner says.
•Mistake: You think you know what she wants. Women are good at faking orgasm, says Kerner. So, if she’s not enjoying the sex, you might not know it.
Suggestion: Don’t be afraid to ask questions like ‘How does this feel?’ or ‘Do you want something different?’ In other words, ask for directions.
• Mistake: Using same tactics. That something worked the first three times doesn’t mean it will work the next three times, says sex therapist Sari Cooper. What turns on a woman may depend on her mood, and her monthly cycle. Therefore, pay attention to your partner.
Suggestion: Try different things and see how she responds. When you find something that works, linger on it. Women often complain that men move on to the next thing just as they really start to enjoy an activity.
•Mistake: Doing the same foreplay. Expand your idea of foreplay. Some men focus on physical stimulation and often ignore mental stimulation, Kerner says.
Suggestion: While men get stirred up by what they see, women fantasize a lot during sex as part of the process of arousal. Join in — share a fantasy or a sexy memory.
• Mistake: Thinking sex alone would make her orgasm. For 80 per cent of women, intercourse alone won’t do the trick. This is because most sex positions don’t directly stimulate the clitoris.
Suggestion: There are other ways to pleasure her, such as sex with the woman on top. To help her during sex, take time to get her going before you penetrate her.
• Mistake: Forgetting to seduce her. Women like to be seduced. This is sometimes more important than technique, Cooper says.
Suggestion: It helps to know what kind of turn-on your partner likes, whether it’s oral, visual, or mental. Also, if you like what you see, say so. Let a woman know how desirable she is, Barbach says.
• Mistake: Focusing on the clitoris only. Most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, but it’s more complex than you may think. Some men don’t understand the anatomy of the clitoris, Cooper says.
Suggestion: The clitoris is more than the small ‘button’ you can see. It’s so sensitive, that too much stimulation can hurt. Its nerve endings spread throughout the vulva and inside the vagina. All are potential pleasure points worth exploring.